BACK WHEN CANCER WAS A BLESSING – By ElizaBeth Coira

Back When Cancer Was A Blessing_ElizaBeth Coira_HomeGrownSojourner.com

Back when cancer was a blessing
I used to hate my hair
I used to hate my life
Hoped daily for escape

Back when cancer was a blessing
I used to work a lot
Thought that’s what I’m supposed to do
Make lots of money, prove I’m smart

But what did
I have to prove
To who
And how
For what

Stuck in
A consumer loop
Imprisoned in
A social cage

Of my own
Creation, design
Supported by family
Guilt and pride

Back when cancer was a blessing
I struggled through each day
To fill the lives of nothing but others
Depleting, forgetting myself alone

Back when cancer was a blessing
I silently prayed every now and then
For an accident or other kindness
To remove me from my station

But what is such a luxury
When there are bills and egos to pay
Blood sweat and greed, in misery
I saw very few options indeed

Then fate laid down a finger
Printed me with a tumor
Now a long, unpleasant scar
Reminds me of my stupor

And the sudden shift
That rippled through my life
Created some perspective
At first I could only cry

Then for a while hide
Yes, I had to rest
For a month, then a few years
Nursing, healing heart and mind

How had I gone so wrong
I did everything I’d been told
And kept on going for a while
But god that path kept me old

Full of so much anger
Resistance seemed so futile
Depression then took me out
For yet another reminder

Life is precious
Life is mine
To live and choose each day

To wander forth
To go explore
To be free
That’s what’s in store

For me
For you
For each of us

Though funny, I must say
It was cancer as my blessing
That turned my every darkness
To light of day

…and Love

7 thoughts on “BACK WHEN CANCER WAS A BLESSING – By ElizaBeth Coira

  1. We all go through things in life – the ups & downs, wrongs & rights, smiles & tears, hugs & fights. It’s not always sunshine & rainbows…but many time it IS! Or it can become so…depending on how we each Choose to see, believe, respond, Be.

    In 2009, a few months before my wedding, I was diagnosed with a bizarre, unexplainable cancer. Luckily, an out-of-the-box thinker & oncologist removed my tumor surgically; and also spared me the pain of traditional radiation & chemotherapy treatments. I am still cancer free!

    My encounter with cancer, & facing down my own mortality changed my life in SO many ways. I’ve made the choice to allow this experience to teach, grow, & guide ME for the better.

    I share my story & poetry with You, with the humble hope that it may help…when ever, where ever it can. May it be a reminder of the simple, profound, accessible, transformative power of LOVE.

    It’s all around us. And in us. We have only to open our hearts & minds to See & Be LOVE.

  2. I don’t know how I missed this in November. You are so wise and I am thankful you are well. You are a positive force in this world.

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